I miss you on Thanksgiving, my loved ones,
grandmother, grandfather, mother, father,
husband,
son and many more,
even on my best days.
You are a part of me. I’ll always remember you,
even though many years shall pass.
I miss your laughter,
your good cooking,
even your stern looks.
I miss your precious birthday cards,
your old jewelry,
even your old clunky shoes.
I miss your unpredictably, your desire for shopping,
even your special way of wearing lipstick.
I miss your caring moments, my sitting on your knee,
even lifting you from tub to bed, as you were dying.
I miss you when I dance, for you called me your queen,
even your face
when I looked upon you ready to be embalmed.
I miss you when I think about what may have been,
even when I remember
the ugliness of your being from immaturity.
I miss you who influenced me
and cast your breath of hope upon my spirit,
even though the world is now so full of hurt and evil.
I miss you most whom I’ve not yet seen face-to-face,
even though the world shuns you and looks the other way.
Soon, we shall all be together.
Charts are visual explanations that sometimes surprise people with the truth. For centuries, navigators have maintained nautical charts for aircraft or ships, educators have used charts to measure academic success and soft drink manufacturers Coca Cola and Pepsi have charted comparisons to boast the most popular beverage.
But how can charting help you live sanely?
1. Charting is seeing. Having the visualization of accurate data can be surprising. A simplistic dashboard can help you see that you may actually be doing or seeing something in a more positive way than you realize.
One down moment may shatter overall accomplishments.
"Rome wasn't built in a day." There was a lot of mistakes made and much rebuilding that took place, but the end result kept the workers forging ahead through the architects vision.
You can do the same. Give yourself an overall picture of what your striving for or seeking to stay away from.
Check out the chart below for healthy options chosen by an individual during one month.
There are a lot of positive +s shown in actions, but the negative -s
could skew a person's view. Seeing the chart is inspiring.
Chart the progressions you make toward your goals, and see the reality. It may be better than you think.
2. Charting is an opportunity to be challenged. Once you've seen the stats, you can analyze the data. You can take a look at what may be keeping you from hitting the mark, reworking actions to get different results.
Success comes from examining failure and learning from the experience. Olympic athletes, inventors and even infants transitioning to toddlers fail many times before they succeed.
Dare to live above and beyond the past. Chart toward the future and set goals that stretch your limits.
3. Charting is a way to stay focused. It's a built-in accountability, if you stay at it. Actors, singers and athletes all practice over and over and over until what they are doing becomes second nature. It takes commitment.
And no, you don't have to go it alone. In fact, charting is best done with others to celebrate successes and encourage one another through failures. Call, text, email or go see a friend or family member today. Engage in a rewarding mission together.
So, what are you waiting for?
Get started, and drop me a line to let me know how it's going. Here's a link to a free online goal tracker you can share on MySpace or your own blog. http://www.joesgoals.com/
Your shared experiences can help others live sanely.
Do you have a memory that seems to control you? Well, if you are pulled down by something you have no control over, you can move on and put it behind you. Here's how:
1. Review the memory. Write down exactly what the memory is and how it makes you feel. Sad, angry, lost, confused... Example: Mary's husband died suddenly in a car accident. Mary feels alone.
2. Deal with the feeling. In the example above, Mary feels alone. Mary should ask herself "Who do I blame for feeling alone?" If it's God, Mary needs to come to terms and realize that God does not simply allow people to die to punish others. To do this, Mary can read and research the Bible. When she does, she can see that God rains on the just and the unjust. He has a bigger picture in mind, a plan and purpose, and it's not necessarily about punishment, and even if it was, there is still a purpose. Instead of punishing herself, Mary can be at peace that God is a forgiving, loving and compassionate being that wants to use the death as an opportunity to help her and others through healing. Keeping the hurt inside only magnifies the pain and makes Mary's life miserable and the purpose of her husband's death is hindered by her lack of healing.
If Mary feels her husband is to blame (maybe he did not take necessary safety precautions), she needs to look at true factors. Her husband did not have control over the accident taking place. No one takes their life, only God decides when it will happen, even if they have intentions to do so.
If Mary feels another driver is to blame, there are questions that can help her realize otherwise. Did that other driver get up that day and decide they were going to pull out in front of her husband or intentionally run into his vehicle? If the other driver was drinking and driving, did they do so intentionally thinking of killing her husband? What good would it do to blame the driver anyway? Who is that blame hurting?
3. Resolve. If Mary can zero in on the feeling and rationally look at why that feeling is wrong, she can retrain her brain. As a Christian, I believe she can do this with God's help. Regardless, Mary must take action. She must remove that "stink'in think'in" and replace it with positive truth and act on that truth with belief. She may need to seek a trusted counselor's help or a trusted friend that can hold her accountable.
While Charles Darwin may have been puzzled by humans expressing emotions by crying, scientific studies show that crying can be beneficial. Psychologists definitely believe that crying provides stress relief and strengthens bonding for individuals and families.
Why is it good to cry?
1. Emotional tears are chemically encodedsignals. Higher levels of adrenocorticotrophic (ACTH) is found in emotional tears. Reflexive tears, from physical eye irritants, do not wash this chemical out of our body, though, they are definitely important to cleanse an irritated eye. However, emotional tears from crying removes this chemical and triggers the release of cortisol, producing a calming effect, relieving stress. Also, bacterial infections decrease from this washing away.
2. Tears are bonding. Individuals and groups of people, both men and women, who cry together experience stronger or deeper levels of bonding. Unlike sweat, tears are odorless, so crying promotes togetherness instead of wanting separation from an unpleasant smell.
3. Tears expose emotions that can be dealt with and addressed. By crying, individuals can learn what issues trigger the tears, whether that be a death they have not grieved for previously or a resentment that they may be hanging onto and need to release the hurt. Without tears, your body has an imbalance. Man, woman or child, it's good to cry, as long as it's not excessive.
So, if you've felt the pangs of emotional distress from dealing with a crazy world, it may be time to have a good cry. You might just be amazed by how good you feel when you're finished.
"Ahh, isn't this peaceful?" Most of us (in the U.S. at least) have heard or said this many times throughout the course of our lifetime. Peaceful is what we enjoy experiencing after a difficult day of dealing with complaining customers, kids, employees, etc., but even when the noise is removed from our space, do we really feel peaceful?
A peaceful attitude can make life's adjustments an even smoother transition. Here are five benefits of a peaceful attitude:
1. A peaceful heart. This comes from letting go of all the grudges, resentments, and any hidden "heart" barriers to total peace. As someone who's helped many financially that have never repaid me, and yet now I struggle myself to regain my ability to pay all the creditors and become debt free again, I've had to come to the place where I've been reminded of Biblical teachings that address this issue. When you become a lender, you must do so expecting nothing in return (paraphrased). Hard stuff to swallow sometimes, but when you release that hurt within you, you're FREE!
2. Holistic healing. Not only does your heart feel peaceful when you develop a peaceful attitude, so does the rest of your body. Amazing how much relief takes place from having a peaceful attitude. Headaches diminish, sleep patterns improve, physical ailments decrease... Life just gets BETTER!
3. Mellowness. When you're mellow you can forgive and forget much easier. Frustrations and idiosyncrasies just roll off your back. No matter what happens... You'll be OKAY!
4. Rewards. The perks of life come to those who have a peaceful attitude. Career paths/job opportunities/life goals can be easier developed. Patience comes from a peaceful attitude. Knowing what job/hobby interests you, inspires you and challenges you is a great personal milestone that becomes a reality when life's path is seen with greater visibility, void of all the distractions of a troubled mind. CLARITY becomes a great friend!
5. New relationships. Developing a new relationship with a parent, a child or a sibling can be a breaking free experience. Old emotional wounds can heal, and you may even find a part of yourself that you'd not even known was missing. People that you would never have had anything in common with previously seem to suddenly be someone you'd never want to live without. Life gets even more EXCITING!
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Generally, a camera out of focus is frustrating and does not accomplish the goal of getting a sharp, clear picture that captures the moment. In order to achieve a good quality photo, the user has to make adjustments.
When our life gets out of focus, we have to do the same. Adjust or be left with a fuzzy, distorted picture that can cripple us or restrain our ability to enjoy each day.
Here are 3 ways to refocus
that can help you survive sanely:
1. STOP. Refrain from what is causing the fuzzy, distorted picture. If it is causing pain and frustration to the point that it is unbearable and makes absolutely no sense to continue the pursuit, with no possibility of resolution in sight, it is time to halt, slam the gears into PARK. GET OFF the boat, the bus or the train.
2. TAKE A TIMEOUT. Give yourself time to reflect, pray, meditate and listen. Learn the plan that is designed just for you.
3.GO A DIFFERENT DIRECTION. Put the designed plan into action.Adjust the attitude, change the scenery, the pattern, the method. Get out of the stuck lane and move over to the going forward path.
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." — Maya Angelou
Refocusing is good for the soul. It may seem painful for a season, it can seem easier to go back for a time, but the action of moving ahead and beyond the distorted picture can bring us peace like we may not have felt in such a long, long time. ~
Perhaps you saw Benaiah CEO Benjamin Hale's Tweet quote today. His reminder of Benjamin Franklin's saying "An investment in knowledge pays the best interest" is a great tip to surviving sanely. Here's 3 steps of knowledge that you can put into practice today to keep you poised for sanity.
1. Take a step back. Being too close to a situation can make things appear bigger or different than they really are. Backing away from a situation or circumstance can provide a more objective view. Giving yourself some space can inspire you with new ideas, a different perspective and maybe even additional or better options.
2. Laugh. Having a good laugh is refreshing, it promotes stress relief. There are a lot of great, past and present, comedians that can have you rolling in laughter in a matter of minutes. If you are from the baby boomer set, you may enjoy a look at some classics like Red Skelton or Lucy. From Generation Y or X? ...maybe a look at the Nerdist. Check out the video below for clean comedy. It's from YouTube, where you can find a lot of good laughs.
3. Dance. Need some energy? Want to lose weight? ... get in a better mood? Dancing is good for your health. It's an outlet for creative energy and even releases serotonin.
Whether it's the local YMCA or private jazz, tap, hip hop or reggae class, you can tone some muscle, build the cardiovascular and have lots of fun.
