Saturday, June 2, 2012

Reliving Memories: 3 Ways to Make a Breakthrough

Do you have a memory that seems to control you? Well, if you are pulled down by something you have no control over, you can move on and put it behind you. Here's how:

1. Review the memory. Write down exactly what the memory is and how it makes you feel. Sad, angry, lost, confused... Example: Mary's husband died suddenly in a car accident. Mary feels alone.

2. Deal with the feeling. In the example above, Mary feels alone. Mary should ask herself "Who do I blame for feeling alone?" If it's God, Mary needs to come to terms and realize that God does not simply allow people to die to punish others. To do this, Mary can read and research the Bible. When she does, she can see that God rains on the just and the unjust. He has a bigger picture in mind, a plan and purpose, and it's not necessarily about punishment, and even if it was, there is still a purpose. Instead of punishing herself, Mary can be at peace that God is a forgiving, loving and compassionate being that wants to use the death as an opportunity to help her and others through healing. Keeping the hurt inside only magnifies the pain and makes Mary's life miserable and the purpose of her husband's death is hindered by her lack of healing.

If Mary feels her husband is to blame (maybe he did not take necessary safety precautions), she needs to look at true factors. Her husband did not have control over the accident taking place. No one takes their life, only God decides when it will happen, even if they have intentions to do so.

If Mary feels another driver is to blame, there are questions that can help her realize otherwise. Did that other driver get up that day and decide they were going to pull out in front of her husband or intentionally run into his vehicle? If the other driver was drinking and driving, did they do so intentionally thinking of killing her husband? What good would it do to blame the driver anyway? Who is that blame hurting?

3. Resolve. If Mary can zero in on the feeling and rationally look at why that feeling is wrong, she can retrain her brain. As a Christian, I believe she can do this with God's help. Regardless, Mary must take action. She must remove that "stink'in think'in" and replace it with positive truth and act on that truth with belief. She may need to seek a trusted counselor's help or a trusted friend that can hold her accountable.

The key to breaking through is ACTION.

Do you need to relive a memory and deal with the feeling that is pulling you down?

Love is a gift - Here's a video that may bless you

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Have a great day!
Deb Ryan